Who the hell am I racing against?

In the second in a series of very self-indulgent posts this weekend (sorry!) I want to answer the questions: who am I competing with? Who am I measuring myself with? Who am I racing against?

Watching the best of the best

Screen Shot 2014-06-01 at 18.06.06
Gwen Jorgensen winning the World Triathlon Series race in London against the best in the world

I watched the the women’s World Triathlon Series race that took place in Hyde Park yesterday, whilst relaxing on the sofa after a long run this morning and a picnic in the park with Julie at lunchtime. Gwen Jorgensen, from the US, took on the best triathletes in the world who made up the field of other elite women over the 750m swim – 20km bike – 5km run race course. It was magnificent to watch and fascinating to see the others in the race respond and react and in the end race for the minor places.

One thing that struck me as I watched the race – which, like pretty much all elite Olympic and shorter distance triathlons that I have seen recently, came down to the run – was the fact that Jorgensen was a couple of kilometers into the run and there were still elite athletes racking their bikes and heading out for the 5km on foot. The first thing that crossed my mind was “why bother?”

These are elite level athletes. Almost certainly all of them make their living from triathlon and coming 63rd out of a field of 65 is – in terms of their earnings and career prospects – totally pointless. Why not just rack the bike and go for a recovery shake and get ready for the next race when they might do better?

No expectation of winning: just doing the best you can

But then I realised that most of us – and I mean 99.9999999% of the people who do any sort of sport – aren’t doing it with the expectation of winning. Most of us have other reasons for training and competing. We must have, because we sure as hell aren’t going to win.

So now I am back to my initial question. Why do I care about what time I get in a race or what position I get? In reality I am never going to win anything (certainly not anything worthwhile or meaningful) so why care?

Well I think that the answer is that I am racing against myself. Trying to match up to the standards that I aspire to for myself. Half of why I race is so that I can feel proud of what I have achieved because – especially with endurance sports (and thank you to my training partner on my run this morning, who reminded me of this point) you get out what you put in. So if I get a what I think is a pretty good result, then I know that I have worked hard and achieved something. The beauty of this, of course, is that it applies to everyone, no matter how fast they are. So everyone can know the warm glow of satisfaction that comes from having put in the effort and come out with a result.

My results & my frustrations

Mario Mola, winner of the men's race in the World Triathlon  Series race in London
Mario Mola, winner of the men’s race in the World Triathlon Series race in London

So… why am I frustrated with myself at the moment? Because I know I am not putting in the work and I am therefore not getting results that I think I can be proud of. For me. Not results that someone else thinks they would be happy with: results that I would be happy with. The irony is, of course, that it is entirely possible to win races and still not really be proud of what you achieved, because there is no one there to challenge you – you get the bling but it is meaningless without meaningful challenge. What I love about sport like the Elite triathlons at the weekend, is that there are so many people at the same level that, for example, in the elite men’s race in Hyde Park this weekend, the winner can feel immensely proud that he beat the best in the world. Same for Jorgensen. Same for you and me, if we beat the expectations that we set ourselves!

And what about me? Well, I got what I deserved in the 5km run that I did on Saturday: a taste of blood in my mouth, sore legs and a sinking feeling that age and lack of training are catching up on me.

But you want to know the best thing? I know that I can pull it around. Whether or not I feel proud of my future results is entirely in my hands – I just have to work for them. Sounds pretty good, eh?

Unbalanced: how I need to fit sport back in to my life

I raced a 5km leg of a triathlon relay today and found myself thinking about a question that someone had tweeted me, all about how to attack a race of that distance. My advice a few days ago had been to go out hard and concentrate on catching the person in front. Having raced today, I followed up on that tweet and said that I had used that tactic. Frustratingly the person in front wasn’t up for getting caught and I never closed the gap. I finished in 17:47.

The tweeter then asked me:

How come? Your pb is much faster than that.

To which I replied:

The short answer is that since that PB @freestakuk & @LikeTheWindMag have happened – work vs. training is not balanced!

And that is the truth.

Simply not training

In the last 7 days I have raced a mile (on Saturday), run 14 miles (on Sunday) and then not managed to do any exercise whatsoever until last night when Julie and I messed around on some gym equipment in the park. And then today’s 5km relay run-leg. That is possibly a total of 18 miles and around two and a half hours of exercise.

At the same time I estimate that I have been getting around five and a half or six hours sleep per night. For some people that is fine. But I have always needed sleep and when I was training hard, 8 hours was the minimum. Nine was preferable.

Love Freestak. Love endurance sports.

So what point am I trying to make? Well, I feel pretty frustrated at the moment. Don’t get me wrong – I love what I do for a living. I love what we do at Freestak and I truly believe in us as a business. We have amazing clients and we work on fantastic projects.

I just can’t understand why I seem to be unable to find 45 minutes in an 18 hour day to do some exercise – go for a run or swim or bike ride.

I think the answer to that question is that I do have a bit of a single-track personality. In the build-up to the 2012 London marathon, I was almost totally consumed by the race and I made sure that as far as possible life fitted around training. Now the situation is different and I love what I do at Freestak so much that I happily prioritise that over exercise. I know plenty of people – even some who own their own business – who prioritise their sport over their business. That is up to them.

I also think that I enjoy running more when I do it with other people and with all of the excitement at work, it is too easy to put off meeting people for a run or a ride, because I don’t want to commit to that in case something more exciting or pressing comes in to the office.

So I have decided that I need to achieve a more zen-like balance. I really am not going to try to deny myself the amazing opportunity that we have at Freestak. But I must, surely, be able to find 45 minutes every day to do some exercise? In fact, you can all help me. Could you send a tweet or write a comment on this post or send me a message asking me what I am going to do today or what I have done: that will keep me honest… So who’s up for helping me get back to some semblance of fitness? I’d really like to get back to my tweeter and give him a different answer soon!